At Lambert, Wolverines are about as nonexistent as the actual animals are in the state of Michigan. If you find yourself in a similar office predicament, here are nine tips on how to effectively keep your Michigan fanhood intact while simultaneously remaining HAILed as everyone’s favorite coworker.
1. Compliment your fellow office mates for big football wins against teams like Bowling Green, Furman and Rutgers.
2. Make sure the other teams you root for are largely the same, i.e. local Grand Rapids teams – the Drive and Griffins – and the now four major sports teams with arenas surrounding our Detroit office.
Now, most importantly, tips 3-9:
3. Be the champion for the projector screen TV during March Madness so that your Spartan colleagues are sure to watch the one game they’ll play.
Celebrate Sympathize with them by joining in beers after a tough defeat, like last year’s first round loss to 15-seed Middle Tennessee (yes, that is an actual D-1 college).
5. Always let your coworkers select Michigan State in your office bracket snake draft pool, ensuring they get to root for their favorite team, while also ensuring you’ll win.
- Bonus tip: If you wear Michigan gear on college pride day and your boss (who is wearing a plaid shirt) points out to you that you didn’t go there, fire back and ask him if he went to Plaid University – gets a laugh about a quarter of the time.
7. Be sure to attend the Big Ten basketball tournament each year to avoid upset coworkers at the office when Michigan State loses early on and Michigan takes home the Big Ten title.
8. If Michigan ever does lose, which is incredibly rare, make sure to disappear behind a large pile of work. Immerse yourself in conference calls, press release drafting, research – whatever it takes.
9. Finally, remember that while you may not share in rooting interests, you do share a larger interest in collectively advancing your careers, servicing your clients and working together for a great company like Lambert.
Yes, that last tip was even cornier than former Spartan, Kirk Cousins.
Tyler Deur is a senior associate at Lambert